Staying connected
What you will find on this page
How do I make a phone call to my loved one in prison?
Phone rules & Phone credit
Missed calls and no calls
Sending emails, letters and gifts to your partner in prison
Sending money to your loved one in prison
The emotional impact of not hearing from your loved one
How do I make a phone call to my loved one in prison?
Be on their PIN
Something you will hear said about calls is that ‘you need to be on their PIN’. Their PIN holds the numbers that they are authorised to call, and they need to have the numbers and get them approved before they can call you. You may get a call from the prison to verify that they are allowed to call you. The time it takes to get this sorted varies - some places take forever to load the PIN, others are quick - and if you feel it is an issue then get your person to chase it by putting in an APP ( an application to the prison). An APP is how everything is done in there, it’s a written request for some action to be taken.
Phone rules and procedures
As with many things, rules for phone calls differ from prison to prison so we are giving you a broad overview here.
Key things to keep in mind:
All calls are recorded, sometimes they are listened to as you are speaking
Prisons have phones on the landings (landing phone) or you person may have an in-cell phone, which is a massive bonus as its more private and they don’t have to wait for other people to finish using the phone before they can and obviously there is more times in the day you can speak if they are in their cell. Landing phones are shared, your loved one will sometimes have to queue to use it and this can make the calls shorter than you would like Some prisons have limited calls, so for example you can only call up for 10 minutes at a time and then the beeps go. You will come to hate those beeps! Basically, if your time is up it’s up and there will be many times you will hate that you are cut off. With some phones you can call straight back, with others you have to wait a certain amount of time before you can call again You get day limits in some prisons, where for example you may only be able to make four 25-minute calls a day then that’s it.
Phone credit
The biggest thing you will encounter regarding calls is credit. Credit is what they have to load onto their PIN in order to make calls. Calls can be made to landlines of mobiles:
Calls to landlines are the cheapest and calling off peak is cheaper still, so after 6pm and at weekends will give you more minutes for your money
Mobiles are expensive - really expensive - and their credit will get chewed up quickly.
Many of us rely on our mobiles nowadays, and there are ways around the expense; there are companies that allow you to buy a landline number and you can get your loved one to put it on their PIN so that when they call it it diverts to your mobile. This sounds great - and it is better – but be aware you do have to buy plans or minutes for it so it is still another prison expense.
Even if you have lots of money there is only so much they can load on to their PIN a week, so essentially you get what you get.
As an example, in one prison where my partner was we would get 100 minutes a day, spread over 4 calls. I have a landline so I would get a lunchtime call of 25 minutes, a call at dinner (6.30pm ish), and two calls at night time at about 10pm. Phones were switched off at 11pm in this prison but that’s not the case in every prison. That would cost £50 a week - the maximum that we could load - and that was split between his wages and money I sent in. There is no doubt that phone contact is expensive!
You can’t just top up when you feel like it either - once the credit is gone it’s gone until the next opportunity they get to top it up. This can be weekly, so try and ration your calls if you want regular contact.
Also remember: everyone that speaks with your loved one is sharing that credit - if they call their solicitor it’s from that credit, same with probation or other family members and friends.
Emergency credit
Emergency credit is a thing; in certain circumstances such as a family emergency or an error has been made with loading their payments your person can ask for an emergency payment. This is a hit and miss thing and not something you can regularly do, and it doesn’t go on instantly.
Missed calls and no calls
Chances are you will find yourself – like many of us - having the phone stuck to you waiting for that call, and if you miss it it can be devastating.
If your loved one has in cell telephones then try to arrange times / days for calls as this will eliminate so much stress in the long run. It’s harder to do that if it is landing phone calls; with 60 people on a wing all trying to get showers, get water, speak to each other and whatever else they have to do in that hour, as well as use the phone, it is not always easy! And perhaps unsurprisingly, not everyone is considerate and will be holding up the phone whilst others are waiting. Also, if they are ‘behind the door’ (closed in their cell) they are not coming back out, so if you know they are behind the doors at 7pm then that’s it, no call.
Prison voicemail
Another paid service that is available to buy in a lot of prisons is voicemail. You can leave your loved one voicemails and they can you, they just have to log in to check them. The payment comes off their credit and you have to buy a plan too. You can also have reduced call costs through it by using their phone service.
Sending emails, letters and gifts to your partner in prison
We cannot express how important communication is for both parties, and while visits and calls are limited, emails and letters are not so it’s a really good way to keep in touch.
EMAP or email – this is really easy and EMAP is available in lots of prisons. Basically you set up an account with EMAP - you’ll need the prison number - and write an email; you will be charged to send it and the provider will tell you the cost but it is both cheaper and easier than a letter. Some establishments have a reply service, where they give your person a blank piece of paper to write back on and the prison sends it back to you. You can also attach pictures if the prison allows it. Furthermore, they have a text function where you write a text and they print that out, but there is no reply option with it.
Email a Prisoner - the hassle free way to keep in touch
Letters – letters have, of course, forever been a way to keep in touch, however, be aware that a lot of prisons now photocopy the letters before handing them to your loved one, so spraying perfumes is a total waste of time in most cases! Also, your letters will be opened and checked by staff before they make it to your person so make sure you are ok with the content being read by someone else.
You can usually send stamped self-addressed envelopes for them to write back and save them a bit of money but again some prisons won’t let them through.
Gifts - there is not much that you can send in gift-wise. Again, each prison is different, but as a general rule you can send in subscriptions magazines, newspapers and books. The books have to come through an agent like Amazon so you should check with your loved one and the prison what is allowed.
Photos - each prison has different rules but you can usually send in photographs. The easiest way is through something like free prints, cheap and easy from a mobile phone and they usually get through as they have come from a trusted source that you haven’t had the opportunity to tamper with.
Sending clothes in - ok, so this is a minefield. You will need to find out what the prison’s rules are for what and how often you can send clothes in. Your persons will usually have to put an APP in for new stuff and sometimes you can only post it and at other times you can deliver it yourself when on a visit. There are lists of things they can’t wear - hoodies, black items, football shirts, offensive or provocative slogans. If you are unsure then your first call is to the prison; your loved one should be able to find out themselves. You can contact us for advice however it really does vary from prison to prison.
Sending money to your loved one in prison
Online - the quickest and easiest way to send money is online. HMP uses the Gov website, which has no charge, and private prisons use Secure Payment Services where there is a small admin fee per transfer. To send money online you will need your person’s prison number, full name, date of birth and the name of the prison they are in.
Send money to someone in prison
Secure Payment Services - the hassle free way to send money.
Cash - you can send cash but it takes ages and you must remember to make sure that your sender details are in the envelope. Some prisons will let you hand cash in on visits but you would have to check with them.
Postal orders – these are also an option but are not ideal as they take time and usually have to be made out to the governor.
Amount limit - your loved one is only allowed to have a certain amount of money in their account at any one time and can only spend so much at a time; they will be able to tell you or if they’ve reached the transfer limit, and you will get a notification online when you try to put money in.
Canteen - this is basically their weekly shopping list. Dependent upon how much money they have and can spend, they can buy extra food and drinks for their rooms, vapes, protein supplements and other items. If you send money in for them you need to send it in at a good time, as the canteen is only once a week and if they miss it they will generally have to wait for the next week.
The emotional impact of not hearing from your loved one
Not hearing is so, so hard. You get nervous, anxious and worry about all sorts of things. Remember that there are some practical and easily explainable reasons:
Firstly, they quite regularly run out of credit so find out when their credit goes on, and at least you’ll know when to expect a call if they have money
Secondly - and this happens regularly - there are problems with phone lines and they go down; too many times have I convinced myself of something ridiculous only to find out the lines were down.
There are other reasons that can be harder to deal with but that you need to be aware of.
Sometimes they just ‘switch off’ and it’s easier for them to not pick up the phone. This is really hard to accept and understand from our end, especially as your own mental health is exposed and you struggle. It’s normal to get frustrated and upset, and then when you get that call you can explode and - boom - you waste the call. Even worse, they might put it down on you and, as you can’t call back, you are left waiting for them to call you again and the cycle repeats itself.
It’s really hard to explain to someone what it is like to have a loved one in prison - what it does to you and how isolating it can be. Don’t be hard on yourself; you’ll have good days and bad days and sometimes you will have a good cry on a call, sometimes you’ll be full of positivity and hope - that’s all normal. The most important thing is to try and keep communication going as much as you can and keep calm when you don’t hear from them.
Remember, we are always here to help
